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Difficult Words

Grace O'Connor
Avondale C.C.

Grace O'Connor writes about the difficulties of talking about sex

What would you imagine is the most difficult word to say? I asked a number of people this question and I'm willing to share their replies with you.

A small amount of people misunderstood my question and instead revealed to me the most difficult sentence to say, most of those answers sounding something like, "Mam, Dad, I'm pregnant." Needless to say only girls gave me that reply. But let's return to difficult words. With the replies I received I compiled what seem to be the top five most problematic words. In fifth place was sexual intercourse, in fourth, syphilis (eww-disgusting), in third, penis, in second, vagina, and the clear winner is condom. Imagine, all five words come under the same theme. Now why does that not surprise me?

Sex has always been a taboo subject. Even as I write this, I'm thinking about various peoples' reactions to my top five words. There are those who would disagree and claim that in these, liberal times anything can be discussed openly. We are after all living in the 'noughties'-age of enlightenment and all that. If this were the case, the awkward mumbling when this topic enters a conversation would never be heard. But I'm confident that we have all witnessed or participated in at least one blush inducing, muffled conversation ending in either whispers or frantic giggles.

One conversation that I'm certain however will not end in giggles is a parent/child discussion (although the child may be suppressing a smile). In fact forget the smile, I'd be trying desperately not convulse with laughter if I had to endure my parents stuttering and stammering about "c-c, con, you know, p-p pro, (and then with a deep breath finally) protection." Similarly, there is visible tension if, while watching a film or television together, a sex scene is shown. Both the parent and child are probably thinking the same thing: "Oh God, what do I do now? I know, I'll stay still and hope the tension disappears if I hold my breath and say nothing."

I think that most parents would be relieved to hear that most of us are in fact very aware of issues relating to sex. For example, a survey asked a number of teenagers what their main concern was about shedding their virginity. The results showed that 64% held AIDS and other STD's as their primary concern, but that a surprisingly low 15% worried more about pregnancy than anything else. The remaining 11% claimed various emotional reasons as their chief anxiety.

Having said that however, I wonder how many people could honestly take the bull by the horn, walk into their pharmacy and buy condoms. Now I don't mean going in, avoiding the chemist's eye, and hurriedly gesturing towards the shelf, as you feel your ears and cheeks burn. No, I mean confidently striding in, and in a cool, calm, clear voice, asking for, "Durex please." You see, I don't think many of us could do that, so I suppose we should be grateful that we can take the easy way out and pick some up in any pub in the country.

We are continuously receiving conflicting signals on sex. One message attempts to educate people, but at the same time keep it tightly under wraps. An example would be sexual education programmes in schools. The other message is the complete opposite where sex and sexuality is broadcast. In advertising we see a stunning model with a curvaceous body and long glossy hair holding a beer. We also see little girls wearing obvious sexual messages across what will one day become their chest. Isn't the difference amazing? Half the time we attach a stigma to sex, making it a whispered word that should not be brought up in polite conversations, but we have no qualms whatsoever about shouting it out, daring people to take notice, the rest of the time.

Perhaps it's time to make a stand and decide to embrace sex as a part of our lives, but in moderation. If we can eliminate the stigma and the "don't ever talk about it" attitude from sex, people may not feel it necessary to broadcast their sexuality, intimidating others.

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